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All my life I have had problems with my reproductive system. From day one, it has been from one extreme to another. However, in 1984 I wasblessed with a beautiful healthy baby boy. I was thrilled. I was also young and naïve.
My husband is the product of a “his, hers and our’s” marriage. He has some siblings who are way older than him and his only brother from his parent’smarriage to each other is 6 years younger than him. I remember telling Alec, “If we’re going to have more children, I want them close in age, not like your family.” That was my plan anyway. God had something different in mind.
We struggled for a few years to have another baby. Finally, 4 years later, we had another beautiful little boy. There were many difficulties besides Cameron’s conception. I had pre-eclampsia at the end of the pregnancy. The delivery was not as hoped for. I had to have an emergency C-section. Then I had complications after the delivery, and my beautiful baby boy was born cross-eyed and needed surgery when he was only 8months old. By this point, I had decided I just wasn’t built to have babies. I decided to be grateful for my 2 boys and I was done having children.
Well, again, God had other plans because 18 months later I had another beautiful, healthy baby boy. Now, with each pregnancy I had, my mother-in-law was hoping for a granddaughter and with each boy I felt somewhat like I had let her down.
Years later, I was living my life contently; the boys were growing up. I had time to do the things that I had never had time to do when they were little like study my scriptures more. In church we had just finished studying “Exercises in Growing Spiritually”. I had learned that God wants to give us the desires of our heart. I was fasting and praying about things that were of concern and then journaling after I finished praying. And, in the back of my mind, I had always wanted to be the one to produce that granddaughter for my mother-in-law.
One day, I was home by myself and I was reading the scriptures when I heard this voice in my head say, “Hannah”. I brushed it off and continued reading. One more time I heard the name, “Hannah!” Now it was getting annoying. I didn’t know any Hannahs; my boys didn’t know any Hannahs. I couldn’t figure out why this name kept popping in my head. So, I closed my scriptures and prayed. I asked God what he was trying to tell me.
After praying, I picked up my scriptures and randomly opened them. They fell open on 1 Samuel chapters 1&2… the story of Hannah. As I read, I came to a part where it said Hannah was blessed and had 3 sons and 2 daughters. Ding, ding, ding, bells were going off now! So I journaled the experience and told my husband about it. He said, “I don’t think it’ll ever happen, but if it does we know what to name her.” Life went on.
Two years later in 2004, I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl named Hannah. We’re still waiting to see if we ever have a 2nd daughter. If it does happen though, I know it will be in God’s time, not mine.